Masochism, Seeking Sexual Pleasure from Pain Is Dangerous For Some People

Everyone in this world must have different sexual fantasies. However, not infrequently, these fantasies lead to risky and dangerous sexual deviations, for example masochism.

A masochist (people who like masochism) get sexual satisfaction when he is physically or psychologically hurt by his partner. Actually, how dangerous is this condition and does it need special treatment?

What is masochism?

Masochism is a person's tendency to get pleasure or satisfaction from the pain he experiences. If a person seeks pain for sexual gratification, the condition is called sexual masochism.

Masochists can feel aroused if they get pain from being hit, slapped, tied, or other actions before or during sexual intercourse.

In addition to physical pain, they can get sexual satisfaction from psychological torture such as insults, verbal abuse, or degrading words. This stimulation can even make them reach orgasm.

Masochistic behavior is classified as paraphilia or sexual deviation. Paraphilia is a variety of urges and unnatural or deviant behavior to arouse someone's sexual arousal.

However, please note that ordinary masochism (sexual masochism) is different from sexual masochism disorder (sexual masochism disorder). People with masochism enjoy pain, but are not bothered by it.

Although they need pain to be able to get sexual satisfaction, this does not interfere with their sexual life. In addition, they are also still able to control their thoughts and desires.

Meanwhile, sexual masochism disorder causes excessive anxiety, shame, stress, and thoughts filled with masochistic ideas. This condition lasts for months and interferes with daily life.

How common is masochism?

Although still highly taboo, masochism is a fairly common condition. The phenomenon of sexual deviation has also been studied in several studies.

One of them is in a study published in the Journal of Sex Research in 2017. The study involved 1,040 adult respondents aged 18–64 years.

As a result, as many as 33.9% of respondents had at least once performed paraphilic behavior in their lifetime. In addition, 23.8% of men and 19.2% of women are classified as masochists.

Symptoms of sexual masochism disorder

People who like to accept violence during sexual intercourse can not necessarily be categorized as having sexual masochism disorders.

According to the Grace Point Wellness website, the following are various symptoms that can be an indication that someone has sexual masochism disorder.

The sexual urges or fantasies have been present for at least 6 months, including violent activities such as being humiliated, humiliated, tied up, or beaten.

The urge to fantasy or sexual behavior is quite disturbing other aspects of life, such as work and social relationships.

This masochistic sexual behavior can usually be seen and diagnosed since early adulthood, sometimes even starting from the age of children.

At first glance, masochism is similar to BDSM (bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism). Sexual activity included in this practice generally includes physical, psychological, and verbal violence with the consent of both parties.

However, BDSM involves two people who both enjoy physical and verbal violence when having sex. Couples who do BDSM are divided into two roles, namely dominant and submissive.

The reason a person becomes a masochist

Until now the cause of masochism is not known with certainty. Citing Psychology Today, there are several theories that say that this sexual deviation occurs when sexual fantasies are unbearable.

There is also another theory which says that masochism is a way for a person to escape from reality. A person will feel more manly when he performs this action in bed.

In fact, behind it all, he is actually a person who is shy, quiet, or even afraid of the opposite sex.

By carrying out roles in accordance with their sexual fantasies, these masochists feel that they are a new, different person.

In addition, a number of psychoanalytic theories suggest that this masochistic behavior is related to childhood trauma (eg sexual abuse) or childhood experiences associated with other cases of paraphilias.

How to diagnose sexual masochism disorder

Here are some questions that doctors or psychiatrists usually ask.

1. How is your mental, physical and emotional state?

2. Are there thoughts, behaviors, and sexual urges that are difficult to control, such as hypersexuality?

3. Do you consume alcohol and illegal drugs?

How is your social relationship, for example with your family or partner?

4. Are there any problems triggered by your sexual behavior?

Treatment for masochism

1. Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy aims to determine the factors that make a person happy to accept pain from his sexual partner.

The therapist will later help the perpetrator change his mindset during sex and try to bring out empathy in a masochist.

This mindset change aims to change the patient's belief that the sexual behavior he has been doing so far is wrong, dangerous, and should not be done.

2. Cognitive therapy

This one sexual deviation can also be treated with cognitive therapy. Cognitive therapy helps patients manage their sexual desires in a healthier way.

One strategy in cognitive therapy is to make the perpetrators involved in masochism become victims, then experience negative events.

This therapy aims to reduce the perpetrator's desire to commit violence during sexual intercourse.

3. Psychodynamic therapy

Psychodynamic therapy relates past memories and conflicts that you may not be aware of but that play a role in eliciting masochistic behavior.

This method will help uncover the influence early childhood has on today's masochistic behavior.

In addition, psychodynamic therapy helps to explore the current factors that contribute to the emergence of addiction to sex.

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